Someone is coming to help. That is a relief, and it is also a set of bills that arrive in other people's pockets. Before the dates are settled, write down every cost the visiting person will carry, because a helper who pays for the trip alone often stops coming after the second time.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Start with the list, not the fare
The airfare or the fuel is the first line most families see, and it is rarely the largest. Write each item on its own line and put a number next to it, even a rough one:
The fare or the mileage for each direction. A rental car, including the daily rate, the insurance you actually need, and fuel. Parking at the airport or near the house. Lodging, if the spare room is not free. Meals on the road and at the house, since a visitor who is working nights still eats. Time off work, and whether that time is paid, unpaid, or taken from a bank of days. Care for the visitor's own home, such as a pet, a plant schedule, mail, or a neighbor's key.
The time off is the line people skip. A person who loses two unpaid weeks has paid a real cost, even if no receipt exists for it.
What pushes the total up
Booking late, when the seats and rooms cost the most. A long distance with several connections, since each connection adds a cost and a risk of delay. A hotel near the house when a spare room would do. Trips that start and stop, because every return flight is another fare. A single person who tries to cover every shift, which means every ticket and every week of unpaid leave land on the same household.
What brings it down
Book a little earlier than feels necessary and compare the airports nearby, not only the closest one. Set up a rota with other relatives so that no one person carries a long stay. Ask whether the visitor can take blocks of leave instead of scattered days, which often costs less in lost pay and in the trips that link them. Ask a neighbor or a friend to take over the pet or the mail, so the visitor's home does not become a second job.
Ask what the agency will and will not cover
Plan as though none of the family's own travel is covered, and then ask the hospice team directly what, if anything, its plan provides for family visits and for the people who help with care. A hospice social worker can tell you what the agency's written plan says. The federal and benefit rules that govern hospice are listed on the Sources page if you want to read them yourself.
Write the final list on one page. Put a total at the bottom and a line under it for each person who will share it. A number you have written down is easier to talk about than a feeling that someone is always short of money.