Somewhere in the day there is a stretch when your parent is awake, or dozing, and nobody has a task in hand. You are not dressing, not making the bed, not running an errand. You are simply in the room. That hour has an owner too, and most families never name it until someone has to leave.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
What the sitter is for
A companion sitter keeps someone company, stays in the room, notices whether the patient seems more restless or quieter than before, and calls the right person. That is the whole job. A sitter is not the person who decides what a change means. Write that down in plain words so no one has to guess at four in the afternoon on a Saturday.
Decide before the first shift which of three things you want covered: company, watching, or a few hours of rest for you. A sitter hired for company will read aloud and wait. A sitter hired to watch needs a sheet that says what to report and to whom. A sitter who is there so you can sleep needs to know that the phone is theirs to answer and not to ignore.
What stays with you
Anything involving the patient's medicine stays with the family, the doctor and the pharmacist. A companion may remind you that a dose is due and may pick up a prescription as an errand, but cannot give a dose or handle the medicine itself. Put that in writing too. Also keep with the family any lifting or moving of the patient, any personal care that has not been agreed in advance, and every decision about whether to call the hospice team.
Compare the sitter before you book
Ask an agency or an independent sitter these questions, and get the answers in writing. Who carries insurance if the sitter is hurt in your house, and who answers the call if something goes wrong. Whether the sitter is trained to move the patient or is only there to stand by. Whether the background check is finished before the first shift and who pays for it. What the minimum booking block is, what travel time adds to the bill, and what the cancellation line says. Whether the same person will come back, because a new face at every shift is harder on your parent than a long hour with someone already known.
Write the handoff
Leave a one-page sheet on the counter with the hospice number and the after-hours number, your own number, the name of the person to call first, what your parent usually does in this hour, and what the sitter should do if the patient asks for something not on the list. Then run one shift with you still in the house. Watch whether the sitter reads the sheet or leaves it on the counter. The sheet is the part that holds when you are asleep.
For the wider question of how the days divide between hospice visits, family and hired help, see Local Help for Hospice Families.