Sometime in the second week the car stops being just a car. It becomes the way the pharmacy bag gets picked up, the way the doctor's office gets reached in person, the way you get out of the house for an hour without the house following you. Nobody decided this. It happened because the car was in the driveway and everyone else was busy.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Put the car's paperwork in one place
Write down whose name is on the registration, whose name is on the insurance policy, and whether anyone holds a loan or lease on it. These are often different people, and a car with two names on the papers needs both people to agree before anything big happens. Then write down who has the keys, including the spare, and where the spare actually lives. If the answer to the spare question is 'in the glove box, I think,' go look now, while it is quiet.
List the trips the next month will need
Make a short list of every trip you can see coming: the pharmacy, the prescriber's office, the hospice office if the family is expected to go there, the grocery, the bank, the place where supplies are bought. Next to each one, note the time it takes with a real return trip counted, and the hour you would be driving it. A route that is quick at mid-morning can take much longer at the hour when the school buses and the shift changes are on the road. The list tells you how many miles the car will actually carry in a week, which is more useful than guessing.
Decide who keeps it running
Oil changes, tire pressure, the warning light that comes on at the worst time, the registration renewal, and any inspection or emissions test your county requires are all jobs. Give each one a name. A job without a name gets done by whoever notices it last, and that is usually the person who is already exhausted. If the car is shared between two households, put the upkeep cost in writing the same way you would any other shared expense.
Name a second driver and let them practice
The person who drives most of the trips will someday be sick, asleep, or too tired to get behind the wheel. The second driver should have driven the route at least once before that day. Ride along together. Show them where the pharmacy's pickup window is, where the office wants the paperwork handed over, and which parking spot is easiest. If nobody in the family can drive, ask the hospice in writing what transportation help it offers or arranges, and what it expects the family to supply. Do not assume the answer. Write it down.
Settle the car-failure plan before the car fails
Decide now which tow company you will call, which repair shop you trust, and the amount you will authorize without waiting for a second opinion from the other sibling or spouse. Keep the number of one taxi or rideshare service in your phone, and use it once on a normal day so you know how the app behaves. If you may need a rental, read its terms before you are standing at the counter with a dead car and a prescription waiting.
Keep the car ready for the trip you did not plan
Keep a phone charger, the insurance card, the registration, a written list of the pharmacy and office phone numbers, and a bottle of water in the car. None of this is complicated. It is the difference between a short errand and a second trip because you forgot the card.
Check the lists against what is true
Once a month, walk the trip list against the car. Is the tire pressure what it should be? Is the spare still in the trunk? Is the second driver still willing and still able? If the list has stopped matching the week, change the list, not the week. You can find more help with transportation and errands through the Local Help for Hospice Families page, and the Start Here page explains how to read the rest of the plan.
The car will get used more than you expect. Name the person who keeps it, tell that person the trip list, and agree on who takes over when the usual driver cannot. That settles most of the car's work before the week asks for it.