Shaving, haircuts, brushing, nail care and the small tasks around the sink tend to be left until someone notices a week has passed. Name them before that happens. Decide who does each one, how often, with which tools, and what the parent wants, because the answer changes once the parent can no longer manage them alone.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
List the tasks as separate jobs
Write each one on its own line: shaving, hair trimming, washing hair, brushing and styling, nail care for fingers and toes, cleaning glasses or dentures, and clothing care. Next to each, put the usual day, the tool it needs, and who has done it before. Most families find that two or three items are the real work and the rest fold easily into a visit.
Ask the parent first
Ask which of these the parent wants done, and whether they would rather a family member did it or a person from outside the family. Some people want a shave from a familiar face. Others would rather not be seen that way by a child or a spouse. Write the answer down, because the answer is the specification for the job.
Nails and skin
Nail care is the task most worth checking before you start. If the parent has sore feet, thin skin or a long-standing condition in the hands or feet, ask the hospice nurse which nail care is safe to do at home and which should wait until someone trained is sent to do it. Do not begin with the clippers from the drawer.
Hired help and visiting barbers
A hired non-medical caregiver can help with personal grooming if the agency's written task list includes it. Ask whether the aide will use the parent's own razor and supplies, and whether the agency expects the family to provide them. A barber or hairdresser who comes to the house is a separate arrangement. Ask whether they travel to the home, what they charge for the trip, and what happens if you cancel on the day.
For each task, compare three answers: who does it and what it costs in time, who does it when that person is sick or away, and what happens to the parent if it goes a week undone. The task where you cannot answer the second question is the first one to hire out.