Your Own Calendar Still Runs: Assign the School Runs and Appointments You Carry Alongside Hospice

Most families on hospice have a second calendar that nobody wrote down. It holds the school pickup, the dentist, the child's practice, the car inspection, and the appointment you keep for yourself. Once the parent's needs fill the day, that second calendar is the first thing to slip. Write it out, then decide who carries each line.

Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.

List every outside obligation

Go through the past month of your phone and the family calendar. Put each recurring item on a single sheet with its day, its time, the place, and how long the trip takes with traffic. Include the items that only happen once a month, such as a bill that needs a phone call or a form that needs a signature. Most of the trouble comes from the item nobody wrote down.

Decide who carries each line

For each item, name one person: a family member, a friend, a paid sitter, or yourself. Do not assign the hired non-medical caregiver to school pickups or childcare unless the agency has agreed to that in writing. Many agencies keep their caregivers to the parent's own errands and reminders, so ask the agency what its care agreement allows before you plan around it.

Check the school's list

Many schools keep a list of adults approved to collect a child. Ask the school whether a substitute adult must be on that list before the day, and whether the list needs a signature or a phone update. Do this before the week you need the substitute, not on that morning.

Move what can move

For your own appointments, ask the office whether a different time or a shorter visit is possible, and whether a phone or video option exists for that particular visit. Write down the new time and who is covering the parent during it. A appointment kept by moving it to a time when another adult is in the house is still kept.

Compare coverage the way you compare hours

Judge each substitute by the exact times, the drive, and what happens when a pickup runs late. Ask the substitute to confirm the plan the day before. If you are building the whole schedule from the beginning, the Start Here page walks through the order in which to set it up.