The hospice keeps working after the death. The federal hospice rule requires the agency to offer bereavement services to the family for at least a year, and each agency carries that out through its own program. Most families never read that part of the packet. Read it now, while the person is still at home, because the hours after a death are not the hours when anyone wants to compare brochures.

Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.

Who the program is for

Bereavement support is offered to the people the patient leaves behind, not only to the patient. That usually means a spouse, adult children, a sister who lived down the street, and sometimes a friend or the paid caregiver who was in the house every night. Ask each agency who qualifies. If the answer is only the primary family member, write that down, because the people who carried the nights may not be on the list.

What to ask each agency

Ask every agency the same questions and try to get the answers in writing:

  • Who is the named contact after the death, and is that person staff who stays with the agency or a rotating phone line?
  • How does contact happen: phone calls, letters, home visits, groups, or a mix?
  • How often does contact happen, and how long does it last, counting from the death?
  • Are groups offered in person, by phone, or online, and does any group meet near West County or only at the agency's office?
  • What happens when the promised period ends, and is there a referral route to other grief help?

What is billed to you

Bereavement services are part of what the hospice provides. Ask the agency to confirm in writing whether any part of its bereavement program is billed to you. If the answer is anything other than a plain no, ask for the paper that explains the charge before you accept the agency.

Put the answers side by side

If you are comparing two or three agencies, make one page with the same rows for each: the name of the contact, how long contact lasts, who qualifies, whether groups are local, what is written down, and what happens when the window closes. Where one agency says something on paper and another says it only on the phone, count the paper answer. A promise you cannot point to is hard to hold when the house is quiet.

Expect the quiet

After the death, the visits stop, the aide's car leaves the drive, and the phone that rang at all hours goes still. Many families find that stretch harder than the nights before it. The bereavement contact is there for that time. Learn the name and the number before the death, and keep them with the rest of the hospice papers, where you will look for them without searching.

For grief resources beyond what the agency offers, the Sources page lists the national caregiver and grief organizations this site relies on, and the Local Help for Hospice Families page is the place to look for options near you in West County.